I'm not really interested in being a parent. Though the satire opportunities alone are tempting....
- I would upload 60 pictures of the process of my infant defecating, and give each one captions like "so cute!", "precious" and "they grow up so fast!"
- I could start off the first post of the day, every day, with announcing how many milliseconds old my little darling is. I'd eventually move on to talking about it in fortnights, light years and half birthdays.
- If I posted that I was "tired" or "exhausted" from a long day, some other parent would say "that's what it's like having kids!" and I could respond "No, I think it was the coke orgy last night."
- I would wait until my child was around 25-30 and then change my profile photo to a picture of him passed out drunk at a kegger with profanity written on his face. Then start sending friend requests to all his coworkers. My Angel!
So yeah, I should probably not have kids. Though I have to say, this joke post probably took more planning and forethought than your average pregnancy.
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