25 Şubat 2013 Pazartesi

Views Don't Deserve Respect, People Do.

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I see this popping up a lot. "We need to respect other people's views" or "we need to respect other people's opinions". No, we really don't. PEOPLE deserve respect. The fact that they have the right to an opinion or belief deserves a certain amount of respect. But the opinion, view itself?  No.  Someone can have respectable views, but giving out respect for any opinion as a default is a really bad idea.I'm gay, in case that has somehow slipped by you. And people have presented me, often, with the "view", "belief", or "opinion" that I should be:
  • jailed 
  • executed
  • castrated
  • forced into therapy to make me straight
  • restricted from being around children
  • restricted from certain careers like teaching, public office, the military, and even medicine
  • restricted from government recognition of my marriage
 I don't respect any single one of those views. Every single one of those views is disrespectful of me as a human being. None are compassionate, have any empathy for me, or give any consideration to me whatsoever. I don't particularly care where or how someone arrives at these views, the end result is the same regardless of motive. I don't think it's even remotely fair or helpful to give respect to ideas, views, or beliefs that have as their basis a complete lack of respect, empathy, or compassion for you. Which is why I don't think we should start with the default that all views deserve respect. 
Do the people who have these views or beliefs deserve respect?  YES, all humans deserve a basic level of respect!
Should we respect the fact that people have a right to their views and beliefs? Absolutely! However, respecting the view itself leads to a lot of abuses. For example, when challenging someone on one of these views I have often been told I am disrespecting someone's beliefs or religion. Yes, by saying "No I really don't think I should be executed for being gay" I am somehow disrespecting someone's beliefs. Let that roll around in your head for a second.

People define "disrespect" for their beliefs with challenging the belief, critiquing it, disagreeing with it, pointing out flaws, inconsistencies, or falsehoods, having a government that doesn't enforce those beliefs, and yes, even not following those beliefs yourself (in some situations).


Think about the fictitious "War On Christmas". People say their religion is being disrespected and persecuted if someone says "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". People think that letting gay people get married is disrespectful to religions that find being gay to be immoral. If we were to apply this fairly throughout society, we would have to respect the views of vegans by banning the sale of meat and animal products like honey. To respect certain other "deeply held" beliefs, we'd have to take away minority and women's voting rights. I know, you're saying "But you can disagree with someone's beliefs and still respect those beliefs!" Not according to a lot of people with strong restrictive beliefs. They can't seem to handle critique, discussion, or disagreement without claiming victimhood and persecution. They're allowed to talk, but you're only allowed to listen. I saw beliefs are only worthy of respect if those beliefs themselves are respectful. I'm not interested in giving respect to beliefs if they do not respect me.Don't let the good impulse to be fair and civil to people lead you to giving up your voice in the discussion. "Respecting" someone else's beliefs immediately gives them the upper hand and when the belief itself is not respectful of others, you've got nowhere to go without being called "disrespectful". 
We should respect them as people
But whether or not their beliefs deserve respect is up for debate. It is, indeed, often the very heart of the debate, and it depends a lot on how respectful those beliefs are of other people and their humanity. Enhanced by Zemanta

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