I Have To Stop Following Comedians On Twitter

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There are only 3 types of tweets that a comedian publishes to twitter.

1. PLEASE COME SEE MY SHOW! PLEASE WATCH MY SHOW! PLEASE BUY MY DVDs! PLEASE BUY MY BOOK! Thank you for buying/watching me!
2. Inside Jokes with other comedians(also not funny)
3. Something that's actually funny.

Sadly, for most of them, #1 is all they do on twitter. Guys, when your twitter feed is all #1, it's like the saddest thing ever. At least a commercial for your next stand-up special or crazy TV show would have a JOKE in it, not just shameless begging for money/audience members. I can go to your website to see your tour dates. If I'm a real fan, I already know when your TV show is on. 
Frankly I've not only unfollowed comedians for a feed that's all #1, I've reconsidered whether or not I'd ever want to see them do anything ever again.
#2 is just as bad. I get it, you know famous people. Tell me something stupid they did. Make fun of them. Get into a playful twitter fight. Do something besides make little inside jokes between each other. 
#3 well, I get it. I get that you don't want to put all your gems online for free. I do. Seriously I do. That's your bread and butter. First of all, nobody said you couldn't still use it in your act. Secondly, come on now, I'm sure you have older jokes you don't really tell that you could put on twitter. Nostalgia sells! Finally, take a cue from Stephen Colbert and Steve Martin. Don't post all the time! Save it for when you have something funny to say, you're a comedian! If you're posting 6, 12, 24 times a day and it's all 1 and 2, but never 3...you're shooting yourself in the foot. Why would I pay money to see you do anything if you can't even be funny on twitter? 
Natalie Maines is NOT a comedian but she posts some funny stuff on twitter. Guess what, I just signed up for the Dixie Chicks newsletter because I want to hear more about them, and her in particular. That guy who posts as DrunkHulk on twitter is 90% hilarious. Now I want to know if he's got a book, if he's on tour, what the hell else he does. 
But, a lot of ya'll "professional" comedians? Meh. The trick to selling is not to sell, it's to offer something so great, people want more of it, and are willing to pay for it. You do realize that people watch twitter, and websites will in fact screencap your tweets, post them on their blog as "TWEET OF THE DAY" with links to your twitter, driving people to your twitter and possibly your website, shows, and movies, right? 
Comedy, you're doin it wrong!