Recently I've come into contact with an individual who makes several claims that I cannot process.
- It is "impossible" to wipe your behind completely clean
- Thus, "skid-marks" are normal, and natural
- And, this leads to a common, "normal" condition known as "itchy man-ass syndrome" (or some other phrasing)
This person was quite serious. Quite adamant that it is "impossible" to walk out of the bathroom with a behind that's free of debris.
I refuse to believe that I am some sort of outlier, some oddity, some highly-skilled toilet-paper ninja. No one who has seen my apartment would accuse me of being OCD. While I can believe that certain men are lazy and just plain gross, and thus rationalize their behavior as "normal" and that using their undies as defacto diapers is okay-----I just can't live on this planet if skid-marks are anything less than the sign of a lazy, gross, person who may have other issues.
I don't think I've ever had a "skid-mark" not even as a child. I'm 1000% sure that if I had, I would remember, because my mother would've raised holy hell about it. I can't picture her casually throwing a load of skid-marked underwear into the washer and sashaying back to the couch to read more romance novels, tra la la.
The only way I would get a skid-mark is if I shoved my underwear up into my rectum.
Although this would explain how grossed out people are about anything to do with the butt, but it does not explain why so many men have wives and girlfriends. I wouldn't put up with that shit, literally.
It is my firm belief that my acquaintance either crafted this fiction himself, or had it fed to him by a friend or family member that didn't feel like embarrassing him.
What say you, internet?
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